yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Still dying that you shit outside
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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