Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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