You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
