We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
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