Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
