I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize