seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
