The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
