nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Who put my cat in the fridge?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
