FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
