i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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