Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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