Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I think I am morally bankrupt
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
