don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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