Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
