youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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