would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
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