Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
You made out with two different species that night
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
