You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
