I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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