you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize