i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
