oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
