According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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