In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize