It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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