Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Farmville is her only friend.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
