i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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