I was born with a shot glass in my hand
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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