before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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