Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
