Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
