my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
