4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
