I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize