It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
