this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
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