I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
