yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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