No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
