I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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