oh fat girl friday strikes again...
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
