are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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