I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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