He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
