I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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