singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize