Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
