We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
