I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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