I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
