dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
