There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
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