Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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