why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
pray to the hookup gods
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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