Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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