Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
