he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
