i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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