He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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