I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
