did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
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Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I am never drinking with the goths again.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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