my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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