I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
