I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
