whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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